Written By Kristina Patel

Long Distance Relationships are rewarding and beautiful, but boy are they HARD!

It takes work to be in ANY relationship, but add a couple hundred miles, a time zone or two and sometimes you wonder why you even got into one in the first place!

My Fiance and I have been together for over a year. We started dating knowing we would be in a long-distance relationship (LDR), knowing that from the beginning and setting expectations were and still are essential in determining how we move forward with our lives. Now, this is not my first LDR, but it is (thankfully) my last! I have come to realize long-distance is not a bad thing; it is a little more work, but it comes down to the person you are with, and how they and the relationship make you feel. If you feel centered and entirely at home, then the distance is just one more excuse to travel!

I think there are a few tactics to help make the distance feel smaller and the time apart shorter. Here are my top 5 tips that I use in my long-distance relationship:

1. Communication: It may seem simple, but I’ve learned communication is one of the most important aspects of a relationship…whether we are happy, sad, excited, exhausted… It is crucial to relay those feelings to your partner. Even if communication is not yours or your partner’s cup of tea, it helps to understand where each of your minds are at. You cannot pick up on physical cues like you usually would if you were in person, so having an open and honest line of communication helps with that. Miscommunication is always a factor in LDRs because of the physical constraints, so being open and honest about your thoughts, feelings, and moods is a simple way to reduce that!

2. Anything can be a Date Night: Between the trips to see each other, the small moments apart add up…Watching a show? See if you can watch it together! Ordering takeout? See if they want to order the same thing! Our favorite Long Distance Date night is to simply watch a movie! We have a scratch-off poster with 100 movies on it, so there is never a shortage of options. Shared experiences, even with the distance, are just that, shared experiences! Planning specific or spontaneous date nights are yet another way to make fun memories while apart, plus it’s a way to feel more connected!

3. Learn how to Argue: This is definitely a hard one, it took us a bit of time to master, and we’re still not perfect at it. It is important to know when an argument is truly an argument or a projection of your daily frustrations. Knowing the difference between the two has changed our relationship! No relationship is immune to fights or bickering; it’s human nature! However, no one likes to bicker over the phone or via text, and no one especially likes it when it has not even been their fault. So when you feel frustrated or angry at your partner, take a deep breath, wait 10 minutes to reflect and then act. Taking that time to calm the emotions at play really helps you get to the bottom of the problem productively.

4. Shared Notes: This may vary from couple to couple, but a few shared notes are a fun way to communicate outside of texts, FaceTime calls and memes! You can make ones about your dream trips, your dream home, or even your movie list. My favorite one is our gift wish list (I never have to ask, “what do you want for your birthday?”). These notes can be anything and everything. It’s a fun way to collaborate, share ideas, plus, they make a good keepsake!

5. Stick to a Schedule: This may be more important for couples in different time zones like us. However, sticking to a schedule helps us navigate the three hour time difference; it allows us to plan when to be free and avoid the dreaded phone tag war! I know planning and schedules are not the most romantic thing in the world. Sometimes, it may feel more like another task to add to your ever-growing to-do list. Still, scheduling allows you to make your relationship a priority while balancing everything else out.  

Now just like a relationship, these tips aren’t perfect, and they aren’t fool-proof; every relationship and personality is different. However, I do wholeheartedly believe that these five tips help my relationship each and every single day! Whether you’re looking for your Prince or Princess Charming or have already found them, finding new or developing old skills in a relationship to make it better is something we all could strive for. In my opinion, there is no such thing as too much love, too much respect, or too much happiness!