In Collaboration with Sarah Jamison

Manas Magazines Moment:  According to the World Health Organization one million people die from suicide around the world each year.  Death by suicide leaves a devasting impact on family, friends, and communities. Forever27Project hopes to raise awareness, empower, and educate people about suicide and its impacts. Any individual can be suffering, especially in these times of community unrest and the Covid-19 outbreak. If you are experiencing a suicidal crisis or emotional distress please do call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) the national suicide prevention lifeline. In July 2022 in the United States working towards using the number 988 on a call in order for individuals to reach a National Suicide Hotline, but until then please use the number for the national suicide prevention lifeline.  As Manas Magazines expands we will continue our efforts to bring more resources and shed more light on this topic.  So before you proceed to read this article let us take a moment of silence for suicide victims.  

The Forever27Project was established in February 2020, with the aim of sharing my story about losing my brother to suicide and the journey through grief, understanding, and how to carry on living afterward. At first, I was only going to dedicate it to being a suicide loss survivor but it now has evolved into sharing my own struggles with depression, anxiety, and PTSD. My hope is that sharing my story in such an open and honest way will empower others to begin to open up, seek help, and understand that mental illness is just like any other illness. I truly believe that sharing stories, like my own and showcasing not only the bad times but the good times will help break the stigma around mental illness, as well as help in the prevention of suicide.

So like I said above I have PTSD and anxiety which stems from my upbringing and also being in an abusive relationship for six years. The anxiety and depression escalated when my brother passed away which then led to depression for me, my PTSD consists of having flashbacks, sleep paralysis, and avoiding places that will induce reminders of different events. The anxiety is intertwined in that so I get an upset stomach, racing thoughts, very irritability, and rather emotional even over the smallest of things!

The breaking point came in August last year when I couldn’t sleep, or eat and my heart rate was going through the roof and I would cry over everything, basically, all of my coping skills were gone and I went into burnout mode. Losing my brother made me realize that I also had mental health issues that needed to be addressed, and his strength and legacy has given me the power and drive to make drastic changes.  I then realized that I needed help and started seeing a psychologist, went to the doctor and got onto medication, and took a leave of absence from work. My biggest thing for this part is finding the strength to be open and honest with my family and friends as well as my employer and for the first time in my life, I put myself first over everything!  

As I was going through this journey, I have started journaling as well. Which has been a great help, even if it’s highlighting one positive aspect of every day. I also use it to reflect on events that have and still cause anxiety and the symptoms of PTSD. The way I like to journal is to do at least one thing I’m grateful for because it shows that there is goodness in every day even if it’s just making it through the day! And I use a lot of reflective questions that I have seen people post or I find online. Some of the things I right in there I do post on my blog but somethings I like to keep private especially if it involves personal relationships. I love journaling because it’s a part of the day that is just for me, and I encourage all people to try it. You can even do art journaling so that’s expressing your feelings in a creative form rather than just words. I don’t do this very often because I’m very fussy when it comes to the finished product.

I have shared all of this on my blog and have had amazingly positive feedback. I have also had old friends reach out and talk to me about their struggles and wanting advice because they have seen my journey which has been awesome. I guess my blog is also a way for me to get the thoughts out of my mind in a constructive way rather than bottling them up so it has had a positive impact on not only me but others as well.

Matty, I hope you are looking down and you are proud of what I have achieved this year. I promise to continue to share our story in the hope that it saves a life. The three things that I have learned are to reflect on who you are and what you want, challenge yourself to new experiences, and when needed always put yourself and mental health first.

So today I want you to make a phone call or send a text to check in on a mate or colleague, do a random act of kindness or simply smile at a stranger. You never know what kind of joy that may bring someone.
Lots of love to you all, and thank you for your ongoing support of #forever27project.