Written By | Manizeh Raza

Estimated Read Time | 3 Minutes

Manizeh is a Pakistani American living in California. She graduated from the University of California, Berkeley with a degree in psychology and is currently pursuing her Doctorate of Psychology. Manizeh aspires to be a psychologist empowering minorities and increasing cultural humility within the professional psychology field.

Self-care is a buzzword that has increased in popularity over the past few years, and since the pandemic, it has been used even more. A quick google search results in a vast number of articles with recommendations and advice that can in many ways feel overwhelming. Articles and other forms of media suggesting one method of self-care above another can result in an overload of information leading to pressure to figure out what self-care is best. This is only amplified when noting that the majority of these articles are hyper-focused on individualism that may not always fit within the South Asian values of collectivism. This article will break down what self-care is and bring in a more collectivist narrative that is often overlooked.

So, what is self-care? To put it most simply, self-care is doing what you need to do for yourself. It doesn’t mean putting yourself first at all times like many individualism-focused articles may emphasize, but it means doing what you need to do enough times to prevent burnout, anger, etc. Having the mindset of doing self-care “enough times” is more realistic because it is impossible to do something all the time, and this small but impactful change in mindset allows for error or flexibility without the harsh consequences we may put on ourselves. Self-care is doing what you need to do for yourself when you can. 

While self-care is up to each individual, it may not always come naturally for South Asians as we are brought up in ways where we constantly think about others, at times above ourselves. For some of us, this can result in unconscious guilt when we do something solely for ourselves, and feelings of selfishness can rise. For those who experience this, I encourage you to start your self-care journey by asking yourself, “where do these feelings come from?” and reflecting on where you are now with these feelings and where you would like to be. The goal of self-care for South Asians (and anyone really) isn’t to flip the dynamic-putting yourself above others, but to find the balance of yourself and everyone else. Definitely easier said than done! While some articles preach that it must be done through the X method or Y strategy, I believe that everyone’s version of self-care is different. Finding your version is part of the journey that can be both taunting and exciting. It can be as small as enjoying a cup of chai or coffee to as grand as going on retreats- it is all up to you!

While many articles on self-care typically end with a list of ways to improve self-care, this article isn’t going to do that. It is instead going to end by asking you- what can you do for yourself today?