Interviewee | Shirley Arcia @SurelyBeautiful

Estimated Read Time: 6 minutes

Shirley is a highly skilled makeup artist and hairstylist with over ten years of experience in the industry. Her specialization falls in Desi/Bridal makeup, Special Occasions, and Photo Shoot Services. Not only is she talented, but she also continues to embellish her skills by training, whether it’s professional haircare from Yana of Elstile LA, Mario Dedivanovic (aka MakeupByMario), and certification from DressYourFace (Tamanna Roshan). To contact her, go to her website @SurelyBeautiful or check out her Instagram page with over 16k followers @surelybeautiful. Thank you Shirley for giving Manas Magazines the opportunity to interview you!

What led you to become a makeup artist? 

I’ve been very much into art and creation since I was a child and I remember always admiring the beauty of women in film, magazines, music videos, real-life family such as my mom and other family members. 

My favorite thing to draw from elementary through high school was women and women’s faces (especially the brows and lashes).  I would literally create makeup looks on paper without even knowing that; that’s what I was doing, but looking back now, I see I always was fascinated by the creation and transformation of the shapes of women’s faces.

In high school, I became aware of the makeup industry through a career day event our school held, and it was then that I decided, “ I want to do this!” But at the time, it was special effects and fashion I was intrigued by. The makeup school was too expensive, and I didn’t have the support I wanted from family, and so I went to school for business, but then a makeup course became available at my college, and here I am 11 years later! 

How do you feel with makeup versus without makeup? 

Makeup is such a powerful transformation tool. Not only does it transform us physically, but many of us also become our much more confident/extroverted/powerful alter egos. I find my time applying makeup to be therapeutic as well; it’s a part of my crazy busy day that I really enjoy; other times, I simply put it on for the sole purpose of putting it on and the relaxing effects it has on me (these days it’s harder to do with three boys running around the house).  

When I am wearing makeup, I definitely feel more confident and even more outgoing. In my glam alter ego, I often meet other women who are also wearing their glam looks or maybe not, but they admire something I am wearing, and we connect because of our makeup, complimenting each other and/or sharing product details, it’s fun, and it’s lovely to be able to make friends/acquaintances this way. Putting on makeup is sort of like putting on your war paint and getting ready for battle, and I think it’s empowering.

Without makeup, I am just as happy and confident; at times, I feel a little more vulnerable sharing visible scars and imperfections, but I feel free showing the true me; I’m still a fierce warrior ready for battle. Nothing beats rubbing my eyes without a care in the world or kissing my children without getting makeup all over their faces. This is a different me, a carefree me.

Wearing makeup is fun and a great form of boosting your confidence, but you should be happy without it as well. Consider it an alter ego, you can become whomever you want to become on any given day, and that’s the power of makeup, but in the end, it still is and always is you wearing that battle paint.

What are your kids’ reactions when you put on makeup? 

My oldest Amory is used to it. He doesn’t have much of a reaction but usually just thinks about how long it takes for me to get ready; once I’m ready, he will compliment me or be very honest and tell me he prefers when I wear a different lip color if that’s the case.

My middle boy Ezrah loves watching and sometimes even wants to do my makeup for me; he always tells me I look beautiful without makeup and that he loves me, but when I do put it on, he definitely notices and will be specific and say something like, “Momma I love your lashes, they’re beautiful.”

My littlest boy usually says, “Wow, Momma, so beautiful,” but he also always tells me I’m beautiful all the time and that he loves me.

What was your first reaction when you learned you were going to be a mom, and did you always want to be a mom? 

My first pregnancy was very exciting, and I was unaware of the complications that could arise and are very common. 1 in 4 women suffer from a miscarriage in their lives, but no one ever really talks about it. In my second pregnancy, I was excited but now a bit scared because I now knew how delicate it is to carry life and that it was possible to lose it.

I never really thought about having my own children. I was always very much childlike, from playing in playgrounds to playing pranks even when I was 19 years old, so I never really thought about being a mother. I think even when I was pregnant, I really was unaware of what I was getting myself into.

What are your thoughts about miscarriage, and what do you wish is information you had about the topic?  

Miscarriage/Stillbirth is an unending topic to discuss because there is so much that happens to a woman when she loses a child.

I wish there were just more awareness woman to woman…  When I lost my first baby, I didn’t even know that that was a possibility, and even after, I was unaware of stillbirth until again I experienced that loss myself. Once I had experienced these losses, so many women came forward with their stories that I had no idea they had gone through this.

It happens to so many women so often that I think even though it is sometimes painful to talk about, it would be helpful if we shared our stories from woman to woman to help each other understand that this is a very common possibility and that we can support each other through it. 

My first stillbirth loss of my daughter Alessandra in 2011 at 34 weeks, I closed myself off into my room and hardly dealt with any of my emotions. This lead to my grief taking over my life, and I wasn’t able to feel normal again until a few years later, maybe four years or so… 

February 2020, I had my stillborn son Shia and nothing takes the pain away, but I have found strength in opening up about my emotions and searching for a community of women that have experienced loss too. I received so much love and support from my online community and family, and I will be forever grateful for this.

If you find yourself as the 1 of the 1 in 4 women statistic, first I want to say I’m so sorry that you have to experience this pain, next is… you are not alone. You are a mother and your feelings are valid; we can find strength, encouragement, and motivation in each other. 

What values do you want to instill in your boys? 

Oh, there is so much I want for my three boys. I want to raise honest, trustworthy, kind, respectful men who have a sense of justice and are courageous to speak up when something isn’t fair and follow through with their own decisions.

I’d like them to be responsible for their time and their commitments and to keep their word. To do what they say they are going to do. I want them to be polite and helpful to all those who are in need, and I want them to love and respect themselves, take care of themselves too, and so much more that I know as they grow older, there may be more or different values I will want to teach them.

It’s important to me that they remain creative and fun because I think those two can help us stay positive and get us all through a lot of the tough times in life.

When it comes to Post Partum Depression; were you aware of it before your pregnancies, and did you go through any cultural biases about PPD?

I was aware of PPD because my nurses were great at communicating with me in regards to that during and after my pregnancies, just telling me it was normal to feel sad, but if at some point I wasn’t feeling better to always feel comfortable with them to bring it up. 

I definitely felt that with the much older women in my family (they are just very old school and take care of business no matter what they are feeling), I couldn’t really communicate how I was feeling without being interrupted and told that I just had to be strong and get it together or “let it go”  because I had duties and was a mother now, they would compare me to other women and tell me that they had it much worse in their time so I should be happy I didn’t have it as bad.

Fortunately, though I didn’t have a lot of support in that sense, I was informed, and I knew/believed that I was just feeling emotional because of my hormones, and soon things would be back to normal. 

How are you?

I think I just got over the worst part of postpartum changes, but I’m still losing a lot of hair and still on the roller coaster because I’m also grieving my stillborn son and recently separated from my partner of 12 years, and we are in a pandemic, so it’s been #momlife at 100% since; I’ve also only worked very little unlike my usual multiple bookings a day also due to the lack of events, but finally, things are picking up! 

Considering all these things, I think I’m good! Everyone’s love and support have made me stronger, from my family/friends/clients to my online community, and pages I follow for inspiration/reminders like @ManasMagazine.  They’ve all supported and strengthened me, and I’m grateful.