Written By Dianna Esmeralda

Born 35 years ago today, a day before Hispanic Mother’s Day, I was the youngest and the only daughter out of 3, raised by my mother alone. I want to say, I had a good childhood. I was very active in sports, kids’ choir in church, guitar lessons, and even tried cheerleading but stopped because the splits would scare me. I did grow up too fast after becoming a mother at 17 years old—the unexpected, I know.

When I found out I was pregnant, I had just started a new high school, and we had also just moved to a new neighborhood. When my high school found out I was pregnant, they wanted me to move to a High School where they had a “Teen Mom Program” where mothers and their children could be in the same facility. I refused to move high schools again and be labeled as a “teen mom” even though I was; I wanted to finish my years like a normal teenager. Many people around me would say I was a bad influence on their teens for coming out pregnant at a young age, but it gave me so much strength to continue through my struggles. Some of those people were very close to me.

I had very supportive teachers in school, family: my brothers and my mother, along with a handful of friends. I managed to stay ahead in my credits, which allowed me to have early dismissal and attend to my mother’s duties right after school. I also attended a legal course outside of my high school, where I met my closest friend now. She’d help me watch my daughter when she was younger if I had to work or go to school.

I’d enjoy my struggling moments because I felt satisfaction knowing my struggles wouldn’t last for long. I kept focusing on the light at the end of the tunnel. Shortly, our lives changed when my daughter’s father passed away unexpectedly. The pressure was on! I went from full-time student to part-time and from part-time employee to full-time. I was already living on my own at that time. While I was getting situated at a new job and managing college at night, my health wasn’t the best. I dealt with poor nutrition and was anemic all the time. I lost myself in the pain of struggles and in surviving. I found myself attending therapy to help me cope with life.

Years later, I got married and had two other daughters. God blessed me with girls. Each of them is exactly me at that age of life they are in. I see Little D in them. I am Little D, Dianna. I parent my younger self through them. I love it! It’s the best healing ever! It was a long-term relationship of 13 years that ended in a divorce. This relationship taught me ‘Self Love’ and how to encourage self love to my girls. I believed in my strength and took a leap of faith. As I started my healing journey, my girls did, too, surprisingly. I rebuilt myself as a person and as a mom. I rebuilt my relationship with each one of my daughters and God. I found help in therapy sessions, healing ‘networking’ events, and strangers who are now friends and family. God gave me all girls to raise warriors just how I learned to be one. They see how I work on myself, try new endeavors, and still manage to give mother-and-daughter time to each. Three years ago, I prayed for the life I have now. I get to show my girls how to become their best version despite what life brings, and through them, they teach other girls. A positive movement from a young age.

I became a part of a group called AMEN/NAMI, who focuses on bringing mental health awareness to Hispanic culture since Hispanics are in denial that mental health exists. It does! I went through depression twice in my life and separation anxiety. I joined this program because it was my only resort. My mother didn’t believe in such a thing, and I needed to become better to set the example of the woman I want my girls to be. I also attended a networking event called Gracefully Fierce, where the CEO created a safe space for women to heal their past trauma and met a lot of great supporters.

Currently, I end this with a smile from ear to ear as I type a little bit of my journey, leaving many things out that no longer serve any purpose in my life but are proud of who I am becoming. I am proud to say my oldest is off to college this year. I am happy to have found the light in the darkest places. Create your own life, try new things, find your passion, and your supporters will find you.. At age 32, I went through my rebirth, and I continue to build my life. Not everyone’s timeframe is the same. You create yours when you are ready. You’ll know when the time is right. Happy Mother’s Day!