Written by Rispy Janikyan

Love…What is love nowadays? Do people still believe in love? Back in the day, love was a beautiful feeling you would get where it seemed like it was an ongoing journey to growth, compromise and unwavering support from your partner. I used to look at love and think it was finding beauty in imperfections, strength in vulnerability, and in the purest form, it was a force that binds hearts together and offers comfort, joy, and a sense of belonging in a world that often feels chaotic and uncertain. But what happens when the person you “love” shatters your world and breaks your heart? Do you still believe in love? Or does the world turn into this horrible place where nothing makes sense anymore? Is marriage no longer valued? Is it acceptable to have partners cheating all the time? What is morale anymore?

I thought I had it all: a great job, my first house I had purchased, my husband, and my child. But what I thought was “having it all” meant nothing to my partner. He had decided that drugs and partying were more important than having a baby and a wife to come home to. My husband (at the time) became very manipulative and somehow managed to make everything going wrong in his life my fault. This is the same man that would go out to the beach, blow our money on a boat with his friends, get high, lose control, somehow manage to flip the boat over, lose his keys, his job, his belongings, and everything in his life. He was slowly killing me by putting me in a major depression. Being the loving wife that I was, I had my newborn asleep while I was in the garage helping him find his keys, regardless of having worked and cooked all day, as well as taking care of the baby. Sure enough, his keys were at the bottom of the ocean, and he was using excuses so I wouldn’t find out about his double life. How does love change people so much that it becomes only about them? My baby was only one and a half, and I had lost the idea of a happy marriage. After six years of being a devoted wife, I finally had the courage to walk away. I had given up and decided that it would be me and my son forever. But this wasn’t the case. God had other plans for me, no matter how broken and shattered my heart and soul were.

Being happy and in love with the right partner is like finding a missing piece of yourself in another person. It’s a deep sense of contentment, knowing you’re accepted for who you are, flaws and all. With the right partner, happiness extends beyond fleeting moments. There’s a profound sense of connection and understanding when you’re truly in love. It’s a feeling seen, heard, and valued in a way that nourishes your soul. My current husband, whom I met four years after my divorce, became my best friend at first. We became so close that when he told me he loved me, I pushed him away for six months because I did not want to get hurt again. You see, I no longer believed in love at that point in my life. I believed in respect. If you respect me, I respect you, and we can get along just fine, was my motto. I had so many guards up, but hey, who can blame me, right? When I finally gave him the chance, I realized that maybe it was possible to be happy again. However, don’t be fooled, I was the biggest b**** to him for a good six months just to push him away. However, he never left. He kept pushing me to be a better version of me. He knocked all my walls down and ultimately showed me what love should be like. In the presence of the right partner, happiness is not solely dependent on looks and external circumstances; it’s cultivated from within, nurtured by mutual respect, trust, and unwavering commitment. It’s knowing that you have someone by your side who believes in you, encourages your growth, and stands with you through life’s challenges. 

So even if you have been hurt, cheated on, shattered, or broken in ways that you’re not able to put in words, it’s not that love doesn’t exist; it’s just that you’re not with the right partner. Your right partner is out somewhere in this crazy world; you must be patient and keep the faith, and you’ll meet them in places you did not expect. Choosing not to give up on love means learning from past experiences, growing from our experiences, and approaching love with renewed wisdom and self-awareness. It’s about setting healthy boundaries, communicating openly, and actively nurturing the relationship that matters most to us. It’s a commitment to keep searching, hoping, and believing that love can heal, inspire, and transform our lives in ways we never imagined possible.